Ifstory

In the spring of 1962 they were the single most popular band in England, with hits all over the U.K. pop charts.   Disaster struck when original drummer Filthy McNasty was jumped and beaten on his way to the patent office by a vicious gang of thugs.   The assailants left Filthy by the side of the road and made off with his bag containing all of the original manuscripts of the ifs' songs.
 
When questioned later by Scotland Yard about the incident, Filthy could only vaguely remember names such as John, Paul, Keith, Mick, Ray, Pete, and "Your Royal Highness" being called out during the struggle.

Six months later while performing for the Queen on the Royal Yacht "Britannia", Filthy recognized one of his attackers. When the band attempted to confront the fiend during a set break, they were captured by the Palace Guard, rendered
unconscious, placed in a lifeboat, and set adrift in the middle of the North Atlantic.   Weeks later they washed up in Iceland suffering from near starvation and acute amnesia.

Shortly following their mysterious disappearance songs that were strikingly similar to those that had been in Filthy's bag began topping the U.K. singles charts.

Years later, Bassist Maserati Vancouver happened to hear one of their songs emanating from the barracks on the US air base near Reykjavik. The music immediately triggered the memory of all that had happened.  Soon the ifs were reunited and returned to England only to find that they had been totally forgotten by the public and that all records of their existence had been wiped clean.

So began their mission as the Secret Agents of the British Invasion.to infiltrate each city and town with the style that was once theirs alone.   "You may not know our names, but you'll remember the sound". 

MEMBERS:

Reginald Van If  ("Reg") - Guitar and Vocals

Grew up in the Bold and Sankey Street neighborhood in Warrington, near the banks of the Mersey River. Son of Duncan "Digger" Van If, Head Grounds Keeper at the Arley Estate (over 2,000 acres of gardens, parkland, and farm) and his lovely wife Lily.   Given his first guitar at age 8 by his Uncle Vic the Vicar.  First met Masi at John Lyons School, Harrow, Outside London.

Nebula N'Tetta ("Nebs") - Guitar and Vocals

Childhood friend of Reg, born Nelson Edward Buggle. Son of Phillip Arthur Buggle, Plant Manager of the Thompson Wonderheel Boot Factory in Manchester and Beatrice Teasdale, Choir Director at St. Elgins in Warrington.  Legally changed his name at age 15 because he hated the nickname "Bugger".  Formed "The Boddingtons" with Reg, Jay Gerlingham (Filthy McNasty), and Theodore Ulster at the John Lyons School.
 
Maserati Vancouver ("Masi V") - Bass and Burbles

Son of world famous Grand Prix racer Winston "Wrong Way" (see Portuguese Grand Prix 47') Vancouver.  Originally from Leeds, Prep Schoolmate of Chick Shagger at The Moorlands School.  Replaced Ted Ulster in the Boddingtons.

Nigel Van If - Keyboards and Vocals

Reg's Cousin from Knowle Green near Preston.  Attended the Giggleswick School in North Yorkshire where he excelled in music.  Joined "The Boddingtons" the summer following graduation.  Boddingtons became "the ifs" shortly thereafter.

Charles Emory Shagington IV ("Chick Shagger") - Drums and Vocals

From Newcastle on Tyne.  Schoolmate of Masi V at the Moorlands Prep School in Leeds.   Took up the drums at age 7, played with Masi in a skiffle group during summer holidays throughout secondary school.  Subbed for Filthy while he recovered from the infamous attack of 1962.  Gave up performing to wed Prunella Prefect, daughter of an international shipping magnate. Witnessed everything that occurred in Great Britain while the ifs were stranded in celand.  Rejoined the ifs when Filthy again mysteriously disappeared upon their return from exile.
 
The Ifs perform songs made famous by the Beatles, Rolling Stones, Kinks, Who, Zombies, Animals, Yardbirds, and many more..